poems to myself – 18

today i will drive

a lot
i will go to visit an
old friend
who will turn
81 tomorrow
we will sit and talk
about the dog, her relatives that never call,
and what the doctor thinks he can do
about her pain
then, i will head to my parents
both close to 80 themselves
we will share a meal
say the rosary together
go to a prayer meeting
this is what they do
and i agree to do it with them
because
it just makes sense
i will say my own prayer of gratitude
today for being able to drive
and another one
for all the women in Saudi Arabia
who cannot drive
because it might
hurt their ovaries
and maybe i will even thank my own
ovaries
because they are shriveling up
with age and lack of use
i will thank them for what might have been
and
bless them for what was
i will sit in church
next to my mom
welcome in the silence
the sitting with all of this
grit and grace
the pause to remember
that this life calls us
by many names
and reveals many faces
some i will recognize over and over
again
some will come and others go
and all the while my feet will walk on
holy ground
each time i open my car door
and arrive
there will be
communion offered
all i have to do is walk forward
say Amen
take the gift in my hands
place it in my mouth
and
swallow.
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Poems to Myself -3

remember this,
write it on the
palm
of your day:
the clouds will always
have your back
so will your sister
and brother
the couch will forever
be stained
with love
and
loss
you will like wearing
heels
most days
but your feet
will want to touch
the ground
every
moment
so that you remember
this life
as
precious
and each person
walking
as
god.