…you are the sky. Everything else is just weather.
-Pema Chodron
I performed in Sarah Carlson/Dancelink’s UBBH( The Unbelievable Beauty of Being Human), in Bethlehem, PA this past Saturday. The week before the performance I was panicking as I was pretty darn sure I was going to be asked to do a Big Body Story as part of the improvised performance. The key word here is improvised. That means I would be given a word/theme and I would have to Wing it! right there on stage, in the moment., in front of more than 100 people. I was losing sleep, eating too many chips, and wondering if I could somehow cheat or possibly break or sprain a body part to get out of it. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but I really was that nervous.
The morning of the performance, I had a phone call from a young friend reminding me that I did not have to be perfect, I just had to “be me”. At the exit ramp of the highway I had an encounter with a homeless man over coffee and a bottle of water. A woman at the gas station got into my car by mistake and we had an amazing exchange that culminated in her crying in my arms. And my dear friend, Rita sent me the quote above.
As I got ready for the performance, I pondered the quote and realized that everything I had created inside of me leading up to the performance was just “weather”.
I had allowed my worry about not getting it right, not being good enough, and not making people laugh, cry and like me, get in the way of trusting the creative process that is alive and well inside of me. I was not trusting that the Universe/God would provide me with exactly what I needed at the perfect moment that I needed it.
My morning was a divine gift. It had all the elements of a great story and when I was called to do the story in the performance, I was calm and centered – I was the sky. The story had been given to me and all I had to do was tell it with beauty and grace – while adding a bit of movement and humor.
I did it!
Now all I have to do is remember – trust the process – one day at a time.
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