The big Love day


heart rocks

We have arrived.

Hallmark is happy. Restaurants all around the world are happy. Godiva, Gertrude Hawk, and Hershey are happy.

And you?

Are you happy?

Have you thought about, worked on, and let in some love of self this week?

Are you ready to meet this day with an open heart and hands ready to receive love – first from yourself?

Go to the mirror now. Look into your own eyes and say, ” Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.”

Yes, I am totally inviting you to actually stop reading and go do it. Seriously.

Wait. Let me suggest one more thing: take a deep breath first.

Calmly approach the mirror and meet your own gaze. (no judging your hair, wrinkles, teeth, etc.) If the negative self talk starts, just thank it for checking in and tell it to go away for now. (repeat as necessary!)

Take a moment to just be there. Take another deep breath.

Now say it. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.”

Don’t worry if you feel fake, don’t mean it, laugh, cry, or anything in between.

It matters. It is essential. It will change the world.



Love Yourself first.

As we go into this Hallmark made holiday week, I find myself reflecting about the first love of my life.
Well, not the first romantic love of my life, but Michael is a good story if you ever want to ask me about him.
This first love is self- love.
This is the love that I am cultivating finally, in mid- life. The love that I realize has to be present in order to truly love another person.
Brene’ Brown, one of my favorite author’s says, “We can only love someone else to the degree that we love ourselves.”
She says that some will argue that they love their children or their partners more than they love themselves.
They say that it is possible.
She says, no it is not.
I agree.
I can only love you to the degree that I love me.
Here are some of the things that get in the way of loving ourselves (that get in the way of me loving me):
~negative self- talk
~people pleasing
~hiding who we really are for fear of rejection
What I have found is that when we are doing any or all of these behaviors we are not cultivating love, rather we are creating large areas of shame, guilt, and blame within us.
We are pushing away instead of pulling in.
We are building walls instead of opening doors.
We are creating fear instead of allowing love.

I decided that this was a good week to start speaking up. To start “outing myself” so that you might feel like you could “out yourself”, and together we might feel brave enough to take on the self hatred and self- loathing that is at epidemic proportions in our lives. Empathy allows us to do that with one another.  I know that I am not alone. I know you understand. I know you have been there or are there.

It is not easy to love ourselves in a culture that is constantly telling us to be more, do more, have more, and that we are not good enough until we have made it – whatever that mean to us. It is not easy to love ourselves when we came from families that gave us similar messages.

It is not easy, but it is essential. It is important. It matters to our evolution- inside and out.

It will change the world.